Playtime is Precious and Critical
Parents and Caregivers should never underestimate the importance of play. Playing with siblings and other babies helps build critical socialization skills.
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July 24, 2023
Stimulating Your Baby’s “Alone Brain”
Letting your baby spend time alone develops a new set of tools for self-soothing, self-stimulation, and just being present in a brand-new world. Everything is curious and interesting and encourages exploration of the surrounding environment.
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Sibling Rivalries Build Resilience
One of the trickiest parts of effective parenting is manage the sibling dynamics. Competition for parents time and affection for older siblings can impact the development of healthy relationships form the start. Birth order, age and gender differences can make managing two, three or more sibling very challenging. Make sure to prepare and include older siblings during pregnancy and arrival home of the newest member of the family. Done properly, the inevitable conflict or co-opetition, can help build resilience in the baby and the siblings. Any resentment might require additional research and even professional help in managing this critical stage of individual and group dynamics
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Too Cute for Words
Parents and caregivers should make time just to take in the precious moments of life. Breathing exercises even while your baby is taking a nap, can forge closer bonds by triggering oxytocin and serotonin– nature’s wonder drugs available in your own body’s pharmacy.
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Who Doesn’t Love a Munchkin?
Caregiving is a 24-7 endeavor that takes never-ending vigilance and an inclination to worry: What am I doing wrong as a parent? Enjoy those special moments and contemplate one of nature’s mysteries: why do babies smell so good? It’s okay to be goofy occasionally and just be present with your bundle of joy.
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Multi-sensory Experience
Combinations of sound, sight, touch, smell and taste stimulate curiosity as each sense reach different parts of the brain
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Words Matter: Sticks and Stone
Today, MRI’s and other scans can confirm that the language we use has a strong impact on children’s brains. Neuroscientists have discovered that just hearing “no” and other restrictive comments can trigger the primitive area of the brain and release stress and other anxiety-producing hormones. Conversely, hearing “yes” and a range of other positive comments builds the areas of a child’s brain that enhances cognitive functioning including reasoning, planning, and problem-solving. Positive words also reinforce “good” behavior and encourage curiosity, self-esteem and resilience, a key factor contributing to positive life outcomes. Hearing “yes” also engages the neural circuits that enable social engagement helping children connect to others. Encouraging words trigger the development of the higher brain functions and enhance curiosity, compassion, and a range of other positive characteristics. “Yes” and other affirming words activate circuits that lead to the ability to handle challenges and feelings of control over life.
Too many negatives can inhibit a child’s curiosity which is the driving force behind his growth and development. If we imagine how we’d like to see our children behaving in their classroom, most of us would probably like to see them feeling comfortable raising their hands and participating freely in activities. This is more likely to occur if he has been responded to positively. When a child hears “yes” at home, he develops trust and confidence in himself and his actions that carries through all his behavior. We need to teach children without discouraging them. We need to show them the way without negating their sense of self.
Too many “no’s” make me doubt myself
While setting limits is an essential part of child-rearing, it is important to try to do so without discouraging the child. A child’s voracious appetite for exploring his world can provoke a cascade of restrictions about what is untouchable and off limits. However, if we react to his behavior with too many negatives, we run the risk of his beginning to doubt his behavior and eventually himself. Erik Erikson, the famed Swiss psychologist, referred to a critical stage of emotional development, “ autonomy v.s. shame and doubt,” which occurs during the second year of life. During this stage a parent’s feedback is essential and can iimpact a child’s sense of self throughout his life. When a child hears “no” too often, he may start to feel defeated and a sense of shame may set in. Too many negatives can inhibit a child’s curiosity which is the driving force behind his growth and development. If we imagine how we’d like to see our children behaving in their classrooms, most of us would probably like to see them feeling comfortable raising their hands and participating freely in activities. This is more likely to occur if he has been responded to positively. When a child hears “yes” at home, he develops trust and confidence in himself and his actions that carries through all his behavior. We need to teach children without discouraging them. We need to show them the way without negating their sense of self.
The Yes Brain
Today, with the explosion of information on how children’s minds develop and the greater understanding of how cognitively capable they are, there is a great deal of pressure on parents to foster intellectual development. What the research tells us is that children’s brains develop through their emotional connection to their parents. As one of the toddlers in You Rock My World says, “My mind grows when our hearts are connected.” (could become a caption) Studies show that children’s brains develop through relationships. It is through understanding and responding to their cues that optimal development occurs. In fact, studies show that being attuned to our children is more important to brain development than any structured learning activity. When children feel secure emotionally and strongly attached to their parents, optimal learning can take place.
In our anxiety and desire to ensure our children’s good behavior we often get lost in the loop of managing their behavior, loosing sight of the wonderful opportunities we have to help our children emerge from the toddler years with autonomy, esteem, mastery and competence. We forget that we can work to instill in them a belief in their innate goodness and capacities, that will last them a life time.
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Managing Parental Expectations
It is very important to have an understanding of what behaviors children are capable of when. Knowing developmental capacities can make parenting easier and growing up less stressful!
We wouldn’t expect two- year -olds to be able to do geometry, for example, but when we ask them to sit still, listen, not touch, or stop doing something immediately, we are being just as unrealistic. These capacities develop over time as the brain becomes more developed.
Expecting behaviors from children for which they are not yet developmentally wired can lead to great frustration for both children and parents. We often have a limited understanding of what children are capable when. Child development seems to be one of the best kept secrets.
Zero to Three a leading national organization in child development conducted a survey, Parent Survey Reveal Expectation Gap for Parents of Young Children found that:
- “56 percent of parents believe that children have the impulse control to resist the desire to do something forbidden before age 3, and 36 percent believe that children under age 2 have this kind of self-control. However, brain research shows that these skills start developing between 3.5 and 4 years and take many more years to be used consistently.”
- “43 percent of parents think children can share and take turns with other children before age 2. In fact, this skill develops between 3 to 4 years.”
- “24 percent of all parents believe that children are able to control their emotions such as not having a tantrum when frustrated at 1 year or younger, while 42 percent believe children have this ability by 2 years. Research shows this type of self-control is also just starting to develop between 3.5 and 4 years.”
While we wouldn’t expect two- year -olds to be able to do geometry, for example, when we ask them to sit still, listen, not touch, or stop doing something immediately, we are being just as unrealistic. These capacities develop over time as the brain becomes more developed.
Imagine all the battles, tears and punishments that could be avoided once we have this knowledge of what we can and cannot expect at different stages. Having a good understanding of ages and stages can lead to happier, healthier and better adjusted children.
We tend to underestimate the capacities of newborns and infants and overestimate those of toddlers. Unrealistic expectations can result in missing opportunities to foster optimal development during different stages. Not recognizing the communication skills of newborns and infants, for example, can impede how we communicate with them and lead to our missing the opportunity of enhancing their development during this period.
In a survey by the national organization, Zero to Three, it was found that 43 percent of parents expected that children should be able to share by the age of three. The research has demonstrated that children do not develop the ability to share until between the ages of 3 to 4.
33% of parents thought that children under two years of age have enough control over their impulses to prevent them from doing something they are not supposed to be doing and 56% thought that children under the age of 3 should be able to control their impulses. Again, the research tells us that children cannot control the impulses until 3 and one half to 4 years of age.
_____________________________________________________
Expecting behaviors from children for which they are not developmentally wired for yet, is often the cause of great frustration for parents and upset for children.
A solid understanding of what we can expect developmentally when can make for happier children and less stressed parents!!
The lessons from neuroscience are so important to our understanding of children and how they develop. Parenting that is guided by this information can lead to children achieving their optimal potential.
When we understand the science, we see that the goal of the first three years of life is not just to behave well, but to be well. And our understanding of what we can expect when can help children develop optimally and without the wear and tear that can come from unrealistic expectations and behavior being perceived as misbehavior, rather than a developmental limitation.
Expecting behaviors from children for which they are not developmentally wired for yet, is often the cause of great frustration for parents and upset for children.
A solid understanding of what we can expect developmentally when can make for happier children and less stressed parents!!
The lessons from neuroscience are so important to our understanding of children and how they develop. Parenting that is guided by this information can lead to children achieving their optimal potential
Parent Survey Reveals Expectation Gap for Parents of Young Children
Conducted by the national organization, Zero to Three, 2016
Below has survey’s from diff years mixed
It is very important to have an understanding of what behaviors children are capable of when. Knowing developmental capacities can make parenting easier and growing up less stressful!
We wouldn’t expect two- year -olds to be able to do geometry, for example, but when we ask them to sit still, listen, not touch, or stop doing something immediately, we are being just as unrealistic. These capacities develop over time as the brain becomes more developed.
Expecting behaviors from children for which they are not yet developmentally wired can lead to great frustration for both children and parents. We often have a limited understanding of what children are capable when. Child development seems to be one of the best kept secrets.
Zero to Three a leading national organization in child development conducted a survey, Parent Survey Reveal Expectation Gap for Parents of Young Children found that:
- “56 percent of parents believe that children have the impulse control to resist the desire to do something forbidden before age 3, and 36 percent believe that children under age 2 have this kind of self-control. However, brain research shows that these skills start developing between 3.5 and 4 years and take many more years to be used consistently.”
- “43 percent of parents think children can share and take turns with other children before age 2. In fact, this skill develops between 3 to 4 years.”
- “24 percent of all parents believe that children are able to control their emotions such as not having a tantrum when frustrated at 1 year or younger, while 42 percent believe children have this ability by 2 years. Research shows this type of self-control is also just starting to develop between 3.5 and 4 years.”
While we wouldn’t expect two- year -olds to be able to do geometry, for example, when we ask them to sit still, listen, not touch, or stop doing something immediately, we are being just as unrealistic. These capacities develop over time as the brain becomes more developed.
Imagine all the battles, tears and punishments that could be avoided once we have this knowledge of what we can and cannot expect at different stages. Having a good understanding of ages and stages can lead to happier, healthier and better adjusted children.
We tend to underestimate the capacities of newborns and infants and overestimate those of toddlers. Unrealistic expectations can result in missing opportunities to foster optimal development during different stages. Not recognizing the communication skills of newborns and infants, for example, can impede how we communicate with them and lead to our missing the opportunity of enhancing their development during this period.
In a survey by the national organization, Zero to Three, it was found that 43 percent of parents expected that children should be able to share by the age of three. The research has demonstrated that children do not develop the ability to share until between the ages of 3 to 4.
33% of parents thought that children under two years of age have enough control over their impulses to prevent them from doing something they are not supposed to be doing and 56% thought that children under the age of 3 should be able to control their impulses. Again, the research tells us that children cannot control the impulses until 3 and one half to 4 years of age.
_____________________________________________________
Expecting behaviors from children for which they are not developmentally wired for yet, is often the cause of great frustration for parents and upset for children.
A solid understanding of what we can expect developmentally when can make for happier children and less stressed parents!!
The lessons from neuroscience are so important to our understanding of children and how they develop. Parenting that is guided by this information can lead to children achieving their optimal potential.
When we understand the science, we see that the goal of the first three years of life is not just to behave well, but to be well. And our understanding of what we can expect when can help children develop optimally and without the wear and tear that can come from unrealistic expectations and behavior being perceived as misbehavior, rather than a developmental limitation.
Expecting behaviors from children for which they are not developmentally wired for yet, is often the cause of great frustration for parents and upset for children.
A solid understanding of what we can expect developmentally when can make for happier children and less stressed parents!!
The lessons from neuroscience are so important to our understanding of children and how they develop. Parenting that is guided by this information can lead to children achieving their optimal potential
Parent Survey Reveals Expectation Gap for Parents of Young Children
Conducted by the national organization, Zero to Three, 2016
Below has survey’s from diff years mixed
Managing Parental Expectations Read More »